My new cage has arrived today. Box looks very big, hope its something we can pack away and hide without notice.
Wonder what the dogs will think when im stuck inside a cage and theyre sat out looking in. Lol.
I hope master was joking bout drinking and eating outta a bowl tho.
Implement forged in Hell
Bringing fire to my ass
Though hubby wields
The Red Leather Paddle
The Devil's Hand
Return to Hell
Spanked to tears
Again and again
My greatest sin
Both get his belt
The Red Leather Paddle
Disrespect...hubby hates the most
Disrespect...the Devil's Hand loves
Disrespect...so hard to fight
I already forgot!
I tried to hide it
Hubby said get the cable
I quickly found it
Cursing the Devil
He who made it...
Since I destroyed...
The wooden paddle...
Which hurt much less!
As long as hubby spanks
Using The Red Leather Paddle
Forged in the fires below
The flames will rise
My skin will glow...
Hot to the touch
Running and hiding
Screaming and crying
The Devil's Hand
Will always find me!
[I will insert a picture of that horribly painful red paddle eventually...]
Ok maybe a little why u may ask. Hmmmm. Well one cause I can and because it gets Me attention... Most of the time. I have been this way for year's. No braty I doesn't mean disrespectful it's just Being a brat. Big difference. Rolling eyes, arms. Crossed, stomp foot type of stuff. I guess u can say it's mostly a in fun. Unless I am mad or pissed off..ya then my mouth may take over.... Witch is. Not my fault... Honest.....
(this contains spoilers)
50 Shades of Grey was a huge box-office hit but we don’t have to allow its sequel, “50 Shades Darker” to be profitable. Mostly panned by critics, I was not expecting much when I sat down in the theatre to watch “Grey.” I had not read the books but had heard they were poorly written to the tune of a literary soap opera. I will say the acting was better than I had expected. However, the writing was much, much worse than my worst fears.
Let’s cut to the chase here- I know you’re wondering. Yes, I am a kinky person. I’ve been “out” for a while. Like gay people, I encourage all kinky people to “come out” so eventually the public stigma of being kinky is lessened. And this is why I feel compelled to rebut the insulting stereotypes in this movie. If 50 Shades of Grey was a movie about race, it would be Birth of a Nation. If it was about gender, it would be Goldfinger. It was clearly written by an author who is not kinky and knows next to nothing about real-life kinky people, and it stars an actor who looks down upon the whole lifestyle (Jamie Donan said he had to take a shower after filming some of the scenes because he felt dirty).
Unfortunately the whole 50 Shades franchise perpetuates the following offensive stereotypes and essentially amounts to a celebration of conversion therapy for kinky people.
BULLSHIT STEREOTYPE: Kinkiness is caused by Child Abuse
50 Shades’ main protagonist Christian Grey, discusses his childhood by telling his desired submissive love interest, Anastasia Steele, that his mother was a prostitute and he suffered serious physical abuse at the hands of her pimp prior to the age of 4, when he was rescued by his adopted parents. Grey later reveals that he had a relationship with a friend of his mother’s when he was 14, which is otherwise known as statutory rape. Clearly, these are intended to be “reason” for Grey’s sexual proclivities. People used to think (some still do) that child abuse is what causes homosexuality. Like homosexuality, kinkiness is an orientation. It’s just what some people like, and its not caused by childhood trauma.
BULLSHIT STEREOTYPE: Kinky people can’t have real relationships
Grey in getting to know Steele, says that he doesn’t date, isn’t a “chocolates and flowers” type of guy, and won’t even allow Steele to sleep in his bed. At her insistence, he modifies some of this over time, but the message is clear- he is kinky and as such, he can’t open his heart to any woman. Skipping ahead to the end of the book trilogy, the series concludes with Grey and Steele falling in love and raising a family, but only after Grey abandones kink and discovers his love of vanilla sex. This is bullshit and tells audiences that kinkiness is a disorder that can be cured by conversion therapy. In fact, studies show that kinky people are actually more mentally healthy than “vanilla” people. Any implication to the contrary is misinformed, prejudicial, and deeply insulting, and the fact that it portrays kink as something to be cured would be considered rightfully unacceptable in media if it were for gay people. We cannot tolerate this.
BULLSHIT STEREOTYPE: Kink is the only domain of wealthy, isolated eccentrics
Another thing that bothered me about 50 Shades is that Grey is the only kinky person portrayed on screen. He is an eccentric billionaire who has few friends, but oodles of money to spend on an elaborate “red room,” his decked-out sexual torture chamber. The mere possibility that there might be normal everyday people who are into kink is ignored, as is the possibility that he could even be a part of a community, or that he at least could go online (www.fetlife.com) to meet someone who shares his tastes. According to 50 Shades, that is an impossibility, as kinksters only exist in the form of Christian Grey, and they are so rare that grey is forced to hit on a journalist who interviews him in order to find one. However, a recent study found that 65% of women and 53% of men living in Quebec wanted to be sexually dominated and 47% of women and 60% of men wanted to dominate sexually.
So while 50 Shades has brought kinkiness into the mainstream conversation, and some people hate it for the wrong reasons, it is unfortunate that this movie will serve as so many people’s first exposure to kink. Misinformation and damaging stereotypes will be the lasting legacy of this movie. With the recent legal and cultural successes of the gay rights movement, kinkiness remains one of the few sexual orientations that is still acceptable to denigrate and lampoon in popular culture. Sadly, 50 Shades is responsible for more of the same in that regard, and everybody in this community should refuse to give this movie their money. It’s time to take a stand.
Spank me make sure the tension fo away make me beg for more make raise my ass up as my face is down in pillow. Make me scream make me want more beg plead make me thank you make me be good. Teach me a lesson. Yes please!!!!!! Paddle my ass make it red. Leave welts Leave bruises please I beg u.... Help me release all the. Stuff that's bad in my heart and soul...... Please I beg u.... !!!! That's what every submissive...says. To the DD in the world.....!!!!! Kneels. Looking down. Arms behind back... Please Sir punish me...
My latest spanking romance is available starting today through Blushing Books. I hope you give it a look!
Featuring M/F erotic and disciplinary spanking romance, it's called Gabby's Secret:
Also check out last month's release, Lucky In Love:
Thanks for checking them out!
You know your husband has worked your body over well when you are physically and mentally exhausted the next day. Although last night was an amazing experience I am worried that if I don't find some motivation soon to get off my butt and get things done that I will find myself in a very sorry position this evening. I would hate to ruin last nights experience with today's misdemeanors. Suggestions?
Yes it sounds like coffee with a side of cocain. The truth is I've been struggling with the fact that I have had an addiction that I have lost control of. Many spankos know how difficult it is to hear someone mention something in the vanilla community that triggers their spanko traps and it's hard to regain focus on the task at hand. I feel like my identity has been defined by my obsession, rather then my passion being a part of my personality. I had no where else to turn to so I reach out to others who may have had this happen.
My name is John many of you have come to know my videos by another name over the years I've been a part of this site for what seems like 10 years or better. I posted my first video here, I met my first real girlfriend here, and found my career all from this site. Marcus you've been an awesome help over the years man. Thank you.
On to my question I am at a crossroads. I can not eat,work, drive or even sleep without thinking about it in some forms or another. I spend upwards of 8 hours a day just between Tumblr, here, and a few other well known sharing sites searching for videos, pictures, stories anything to feed my fixation about domestic discipline. It started as just a thing with me and my girlfriend at the time Jamie. We thought it would be fun to upload a video and see what others though. Well along came life. Since that first video 10 years ago my life has exploded with passion, desire, ambition, and drive. But only about spanking related anything. With Aspergers, I have become hyperfocused with it. I've even pushed very dear friends out of my life who were diehard spankos you know the kind. To me it did not feel like enough apart from working for a spanking video production company, dating a well known spanking model, as well as a tending events focused on the subject matter I had to have more. It became so noticed to Sarah that she felt I was starting to loose what defined me as a disciplinarian, and brought about this slow change. It eventually got bad enough it came between us and thus the first of many amazing relationships reduced to ruins by my obsession. I even tried to cut it out of my life shut down my old account, fetlife even closed my clip store for a while and stopped going to events. I met my wife on a vanilla dating site of all places. Missy which needs no introduction here. She was only a shy vanilla girl a year ago with jo idea of this world. I have a happy life, an amazing career, and the best wife a man could ask for. Yet I've never been so terrified in my life. I love being a spanko yet I am also addicted and myself family and friends have all noticed it become a problem. It sounds like basic 12 step logic but I am alone not being able to control my infatuation due to this syndrome kicking it into overdrive. I do not want to stop being a spanko ever, but I could use advice from others who have been fighting with this level of addiction or even others like me if they exist. Before history repeats itself.
#RiseAndShine Placing blame is lame; instead become able by being accountable. #StrictMotivation
#go2bed, please, dont brat, dont tease, a good night’s sleep, hear My word: contrary to paddles doesnt hurt #StrictMotivation
Strict Motivation offers help reaching your worthy life goals, through working, goal oriented real life coaching, Easily affordable. Strict Motivation is created to work Long Distance, from the convenience of your home and tailored to your specific needs, including as much discretion as you desire. Your gender identity or age are of no objection to Me. Strict Motivation is a holistic step by step approach. My Successrate with willing people tops 90%. no tricks, just get better with #StrictMotivation (c) StrictMotivation@yahoo.com
Due to file size...chapter has to be split.
The first half has been posted. #1- ch38, which should be read before this.
Dinner was a bit awkward, with Evan joining them. James and Sandra were wonderful hosts, and the food was great. Evan was bright and engaging. Janie was very quiet. She was fidgeting on her seat, no doubt a result of her earlier encounter with Evan and the cane. She had greeted her Father with a kiss, but had avoided eye contact. She would be wondering, if he was aware of what has transpired. The cameras in the guesthouse were well hidden. He and his brother, James could access them, from anywhere in the world. He would always be aware of what went on there. He trusted Evan, but he was a man that liked certainty. If there was any funny business, he'd know about it. Evan had better not cross him or he would, most certainly, regret it.
Dinner ended and James invited Evan to join him, for a look around the property. There was a boat and jet skis to use. He wanted to show him the boathouse and also to give David some privacy with Janie. Sandra excused herself, to clear the table, as the housekeeper came to help. Dylan and his siblings were excused. There was only Janie and her Father, left at the table. Sandra closed the door leading to the pantry and kitchen. James closed the double door to the family room, as he and Ethan departed.
Janie hung her head. He knew. She was ashamed of herself. She knew she'd embarrassed her Daddy. He was waiting to hear what she had to say for herself.
She lifted her head, and faced him. "I'm very sorry about today. I was so excited. I thought we were making plans, together. Evan is so young, it didn't feel like he was in charge....I just got carried away. I realize, I misjudged. I was rude. I apologized and took the caning. I'm sorry, Daddy, it won't happen again."
"Won't it, Janie? Really? I have no faith in your ability to behave yourself, because you are in trouble, every time I turn around. If you want to go to college, this Fall, you had better straighten up. I have no confidence that you would start out of trouble, unsupervised right now. Do you think I'll pay for school, when you are clearly so unfocussed?"
"Oh, Daddy. I promise I'll be good. I won't get into any more trouble."
"Get up, Janie. I'm not only punishing you for today's behavior, but for this outrageous pattern of behavior, you've developed of late. I am fed up. You will feel my level of dissatisfaction, directly on your bare bottom."
Janie got up. Her Father stood, unbuckled his belt and pulled it loose, from its loops. He pulled out a chair and sat down. He folded the belt in half and wrapped it around his fist. Janie lifted her skirt and tucked it into the waist. She pulled her pink panties down to her knees and bent across his lap. She did this without another word, from her Father. She knew what he expected and knew this would be no ordinary spanking.
David could see the evidence of the earlier caning. There were ten welted stripes across her bottom and upper thighs. He made sure there was no broken skin. He held her firmly with his left arm. He adjusted her on his lap. He wanted to be able to get access to her entire bottom, including the tender area below her cheeks. Her frame was small, for eighteen. He wished she was more mature. He knew, he was partly to blame, for that. He had sheltered her too much. Though academically advanced, she was naive and girlish in many ways.
He gripped the belt and let in fly, leather whipping through the air in a blur. He put his arm into it. The belt bit in hard and drew a road across her fanny. He left the length, long enough to curl, cruelly around her hip. He whipped her ass cheeks forcefully.
Janie was already so sore from the caning, she couldn't lay still. The belt crossed the welts and she couldn't help, but jump. It hurt so badly! Her arms were planted on the floor. Her Daddy had her far over his lap, so her upper thighs and lower fanny were directly in the line of fire. The belt snapped into her, hot and furious!! She cried out, at each slap. Her Father held her firmly, but she thrashed against him. Her legs flailed, but she could not escape the flurry of licks. Her right cheek was getting the worst of it. The belt loop was especially damaging, as it grabbed into her hip. She tried to slide that side away from him. He stood her up. He bent her right over the table. And drew the belt in front of him. It cracked into her other hip, digging in. He never stopped. She howled, as he strapped her behind. She let out a high pitch screech, as he walloped her legs, half way to her knees. There was no part of her bottom, that wasn't touched by his belt. He was a master at controlling each strike. He started low and pulled the belt up, the leather grabbing the skin of the under globes of her buttocks. That REALLY HURT!! The belt jept whacking, snapping, biting, and ripping into her tender rear.
Finally, the fight went out of her and she sobbed, but submitted to her Daddy's will. He always knew. He could feel the resistance leave her body. His job was done. He finished the round of strokes and examined the damage. Her bottom and legs were nearly purple, but there was no broken skin.
He sat down, with a tired sigh. "Why do you do it, Janie? Defy me... You know I won't tolerate it. I gave Evan my authority. Disrespecting him, is like disrespecting me. Will I have to strap you daily to stop this behavioral problem? I will, Janie. I have given you everything. You are on the brink, of beginning a wonderful time of your life, will you self destruct? I don't know. I can't send you off to college, while you are acting this way. Will the police be calling me? You show such poor judgement!.... Oh, stand up, look at me."
Janie knew she had really disappointed him. She saw it in her Daddy's eyes. She knew he loved her. She had to change. She didn't want to hurt him. She wanted to make him proud. She opened her arms. He opened his. She cried into his shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Daddy, I'm so sorry."
"I know, Honey. Daddy knows." He hugged her tight. He pulled up her panties and straightened her skirt. He gave her his hankie to wipe her face.
"Go up to your room, and get into your pajamas. I'll bring some cream up and say goodnight. You are going to be sleeping on your tummy for a few days. I'll tell Evan, you might need to stand for your lesson tomorrow. I'll tell him to make it a short day. "
He stood, pushed in the chair and opened the double doors. Janie walked in front of him, into the family room. Everyone was there. They all turned. Her face grew red. Evan!! He heard it all! She was mortified!! Oh, my gosh. She hurried up the stairs and shut her bedroom door.
She pulled off her clothes, and looked at her bottom. It was nearly purple. It was on fire. She ran her hands lightly over it. She could feel the throbbing, the blood pounding and her heart was racing still. She could see the wide red paths of the belt. She could see the "C" shaped digs in her hips where the belt connected, and dug in. The straight thin welts of the cane, were raised now. Her thighs were covered with welts. The worst part was up under her bottom. She has to bend over to see. She didn't know, if she could even wear her panties.
She cried, not just because of the pain, but because her Daddy was disappointed in her.... And Evan, ugh! He'd heard everything. He'd helped to mark her bottom earlier, so he'd have no problem, imaging what her bottom looked like now. She was so embarrassed, but still, somewhere inside she felt that pulling...a longing. She laid down on her tummy. She couldn't think about it now. Daddy would be up soon.
The secretary had called, to tell him that Mr. Stern had to speak with him, in regard to Samantha. Mr. King, wasn't at all surprised. He'd watched her grades slipping semester, after semester. He'd seen her go from the honor roll to below average, certainly below her ability. He'd almost pulled her scholarship, last term, but decided he'd let her finish school. She would then, be under contract to him, to intern or repay tuition for poor performance. He knew that was out of the question. The young lady came from a family of little means. Her Mother worked very hard. Her Father, seemed uninvolved. She'd been running the streets, when he had sponsored her way through the academy. She was bright and had potential, but little motivation and no self discipline. She and Janie were friends, but had gotten into trouble together. Janie had kept her name out of it, but he had his own sources of information. He knew all about her.
Gregory Stern had tried to reign her in. He'd punished her, in the office, following the smoking incident. The little imp had responded by breaking into his house. He laughed, thinking what a surprise she'd found there. She'd gotten more than she bargained for. The gentlemen of the community had a little club, where they entertained themselves. Greg had told him the whole story. He didn't necessarily agree with his methods, but men differed in their taste. She obviously enjoyed it, she wanted more. Still, her untapped potential, rubbed him the wrong way. Stern would certainly discipline her, but David felt, he was a bit soft on her. This was a crossroad of her future. After investing in her education, he'd like to see her flourish, finding a good husband, or continuing her education. Had she done well in school, he'd have sent her to college, but that was not the case.
He was very busy just now. He'd let Greg keep her occupied for a bit, but he'd meet with her, and give her a good firm spanking, for wasting his gift. He'd meet with her regularly, throughout the summer. He'd have to fit it in, while he was in town, to be sure there would be no future problems with her.
He'd call Greg and tell him, and arrange for him to bring her up to the house. He was sure Janie had confided about being punished, but his daughter was special. Samantha could not expect the same sympathetic treatment. He could be very strict & severe. She would find that to be true. He planned to give her a big wake up call. Stern could observe... Maybe he could model his lessons after his, while he was gone.
He supposed he could take her up to the Lake, but he was cautious of the impact she might have on Dylan and Janie. Dylan was ripe for a sexual encounter & Janie had been in too much trouble, as it was. Maybe, he would bring her for a weekend, in the country, if she behaved, but only if he was there. He wasn't cruel, but he wanted to foster a plan to bring about the desired, end result. If she did well, she might get to go college, afterall. She'd have to have private lessons with Evan, as her marks were dismal. She'd be a distraction, were she to be in class with Dylan and Janie. They'd both earned alot of college credit. She wasn't in the same place, academically, as them. Evan would enjoy it, no doubt. She was a pretty girl. He'd give it some thought.
For now, Stern could have his fun. He'd meet with her and make his disapproval known and his expectations clear. He would not sponsor another student, anonymously. It was clear to him now, they required a firm hand, in tandem with the opportunity, to reach their potential. He should have been spanking her, right along. He'd make up for lost time, to some extent. He wanted her behind healed & tender for her visit, so Stern would have to curtail his activities. He planned to blister her bottom properly. He would make sure she didn't sit down for at least a week, without a sharp reminder that her life, for the time being, belonged to the Dragon King.
He sat back in his chair, now what would he do about Janie? He was appalled by her behavior in class. The very first day with Evan and she'd already gotten in trouble. Class had barely begun, and she needed caning. He had not planned to be involved in the punishment of the class, while she was being tutored, but he was very unhappy. She was so rude and disrespectful and THAT would not fly with him. She'd require his attention before bedtime.
He'd get a look at Evan's handiwork and add some of his own. She would know, when he was done, that Evan had his authority, while he was away.
File size limit was exceeded... The 2nd half is posted pt2-Ch39. Ty
Ok so tonight ,MY friend that's a DD. Came over after reading my blog's and profile on this a site. I have know u him a while .(month's) He asked me if I needed release I said yes please Sir. So let's just say he helped me release a lot of stress . He induced me to a new thing that I really really liked. It involved electric shocks to MY nipples. Witch. Made me cum really good I don't know how many times (I lost count) ok so now I have to add that to my list of stuff I really like. He has helped me before but tonight was the best. Yes I have found. New way to release. That really felt good. And yes hurt... But oh my goodness..thank You SIR !!!! He also said spanked my ass good.
As J drove on in silence, and my mind soon turned to other things. I even opened up other of conversation with J. No sense just stewing. We arrived home, and still no response. And you know, there wasn't to be any response from him for weeks to come. During that time, I tried to reassess whether I had done the right thing. Whether I should backtrack. Whether I should try to force the issue. In the end, I decided that I would just have to let J make the next move, because I had come to an understanding of the logic of my demand. It was consistent with the way in which I had always established my position in matters of importance to me, and made it stand up with J. When I wanted to make certain that J would be a cooperative partner when it came to household chores, I targeted cooking, after-dinner clean-up, and, of course, cleaning the bathrooms. I instinctively believed that if a man would be willing to undertake these chores, he would certainly be willing to take on less onerous duties, when time permitted. When it came to sharing the child care, I made sure J could handle all the basics when he had to, but I made extra-sure that he would do the diaper changing whenever he was home. After all, I had to do it while he was at work, so having him do it whenever he was available was only fair.
So, thinking it over, I realized that, once again, in going for a "no anal" rule, I had instinctively gone for the one thing that might provide a valid measure of whether I could pull this change off, whether I could re-order our sex life. That is, on some level, I knew that if J could bring himself to give up anal sex in response to such a blatant, and pretty unreasonable, demand on my part, sprung on him completely out of the blue, he would most likely concede on anything else I could come up with for additional new rules. It was a test case. And, just like bathroom duty, and changing messy diapers, it required patience to get to the right result. J didn't, from day 1, simply understand that messy bathrooms and messy kids' bottoms were always to be his responsibility whenever he was available. That took time. For a long time, whenever he got a whiff of a poopy diaper, he would look at me, with the unspoken question, 'Won't you handle this one?" The answer was NO. I would just get a diaper, and the wipes, and the butt cream, and hand them all to J. Then I would sit there and wait until he understood he was expected to do it. When he got to it, I made sure to offer lots of helpful commentary and criticism of the way he was doing it, too. He needed reminding; he needed a lot of supervision; he needed positive and negative reinforcement; in short, he needed a firm hand, and I provided it. And eventually, he caught on. He learned that it would be a lot easier for him if he did his chores without having to be reminded, scolded, and supervised in minute detail. So it was easier for both of us, eventually.
On a lighter note, we still have a reminder of that period of our married life. I could not resist buying J a tee-shirt I came across with this printed on it: "In my defense, I was left unsupervised." I thought it perfectly described J''s modus operandi: if he failed to satisfactorily perform his assigned chores, he would always try to blame it on me -- I didn't explain what I wanted, I wasn't around when he had some question about the chore, my instructions were "confusing" in some respect. So I bought him the tee-shirt, and made him wear it for a day whenever he played that game. And, you know, that shirt still gets some occasional use these days.
Given our prior history, I just had a feeling that, sooner or later, J would see that this would also be easier for him if he were to see it my way. But I did not anticipate how long it would take. The man actually stewed and sulked for three weeks before he caved! Unfortunately for him, that delay on his part only served to give me three weeks to plan what I would do when he finally came around. Long before J's three week holdout ended, I had decided that he would regret making me wait, and I had some ideas as to how to do that.
So, one Saturday evening, after we had returned from a dinner party and I was in bed reading, J came over to my side of the bed, knelt down beside me, looked me in the eye, and offered a very sincere and heartfelt apology. "Avery," he said, "I am very sorry that I did anything that was painful to you. And I promise you that, in the future, I will never, ever try to do that again. I just didn't realize I was making you unhappy." He actually appeared to be on the verge of tearing up.
Well, on the one hand, I already felt a bit guilty about having come up with the claim that it was "painful," and I was very much taken by the sincerity of the apology J had offered. It made me feel that I should be merciful. On the other hand, I had had three whole weeks to plan what I would do when this moment came, and I had something in mind, something that would not just make him pay for the time he took to make up his mind. It was also something that would serve to emphasize to J just how much things were going to change. Besides, I couldn't help thinking that his capitulation was timed to enable him to get some week-end sex. And that wasn't going to happen. There wasn't going to be any backing down on my part from the plans that had taken shape in my head over the past three weeks. Mercy would just have to wait for another day.
'Very well," I told him. "I accept your apology, and I am glad you see you were doing wrong. But J, it took you three weeks to come to this point. That is disrespectful, and it's simply unacceptable to me. And I've decided that I am going to punish you for your attitude, your stubbornness. You need to be punished. And you need to accept that, need to accept your punishment."
As you can imagine, he was stunned. He looked a bit disoriented, and I could well imagine that he would be. While I actually did have my little ways to "punish" J, I had never before blatantly called it that. It was new that I would explicitly declare that I was going to mete out some "punishment," as one in authority would to a misbehaving child, and further that I expected him to willingly take his punishment.
I simply continued to look into his eyes while he digested my pronouncement, until he figured out the obvious next question he had to ask.
"What do you mean, 'punish?'" J finally got out, after a long pause. I sat up on the side of the bed, so that J was kneeling between my legs, and took his chin in my hand so I could make sure he maintained eye contact with me. I pushed myself out to the very edge of the bed, to get even closer to him.
"J, I'm going to spank you. On your bare ass. And it isn't going to be one of those pretend spankings like I've given you in the past when we were playing around. This one is going to hurt, J. It will be a real punishment. Because you deserve it. And I don't want any arguments. I'm not going to discuss it, I'm just going to do it."
I continued to hold his chin tightly, and look him in the eye. I could see he wanted to say something, and he started to say something a couple times. But he had heard my tone, as well as my words, when I said I didn't want to discuss it, and he thought better of it. Eventually, he looked away, down at my legs, and I knew he was finished. Any opposition to what I was proposing was out of the question. He very quietly said, "OK, if that's what you want."
"Good," I said. "That is exactly what I want. But it's not going to be tonight, J, and not tomorrow either. I want you to think about it for a good while, and when it's time for your punishment, I want you to tell me what you've learned from this whole sorry episode, and what improvements you plan to make. Understood?"
Again, a soft "OK" was all he could manage. Perhaps he was relieved to learn that I was not going forward with his punishment right away. But the truth was, I wasn't quite ready for it. I had not gone so far as to plan out how his spanking would unfold, you know, all the little details you need to have together in your head, or at least so I thought. And anyway, I did want him to think about it for a while. I intended to make him wait a full three weeks, just as he had done to me. But, in the end, the plans for my first spanking scenario came together faster that I anticipated, and I made J wait for his first serious spanking for only another week, until the next weekend, when I announced: "It's time for your punishment, J."
So, there I was, on the way home from dropping our son off at his school. Pressed by by husband, J, to tell him what kind of "new rules" I had in mind for our sex life, I was caught off guard and at somewhat of a loss to come up with what I had in mind. Clearly, a major failure to think this thing though on my part. The only thing I could come up with was, at best, off point, and probably just an outright lie. I told him I didn't like anal sex, and there would be no more of it.
Well, I could have been more honest, I suppose. I could have said, "Hey, I want more sex. I want better sex. I want more, and better, orgasms." That would have had the benefit of being true. Or, even more direct and to the point, I suppose I could have said, "Listen, I want your head between my legs, whenever I feel like it, and I want you to learn how to use that tongue a lot better." That would have also been true. But it sounds so self-centered, doesn't it? I was interested in improvements that benefitted myself, of course, but there was more to it than that. Or so I told myself.
No, it's true. On some level, I was looking for a new regime that was good for both of us. Something that just fit both of us better. And I think the main problem with the status quo was that it wasn't at all consistent with what we were -- we were not being true to who we really were. In every other aspect of our household life, I was in charge. I ran our joint finances since before we were even married. I suppose I selected J's career for him; I pushed him to get his act together and finally get his degree, and I had urged him that law school would be a good fit for him. To his credit, he graduated from night law school in four years while working full time. But he would have never found the way to, much less through, law school if I had not organized both our lives. I scheduled his study time, and made sure he put the time in. And I did it while finishing up my own degree in Nursing, doing the house-shopping that led to our first home purchase right after his graduation from law school, and -- oh, yeah -- having our first child, our baby girl.
Needless to say, I ran our household, and made the decisions about who would do what chores. And I was fair about it. I took on at least my fair share, and made allowances for J's busy times, like when he was both working full-time and going to night school. Later, of course, i had to accommodate the demands of his very demanding work. But, from the beginning, I made it clear that the chores, the cooking, the after-dinner clean-up, the laundry -- everything --would be shared, and no one would be exempt. Including our two kids, as well as J, who, I have to confess, I tended to treat as my third, and biggest kid. Anyway, from the beginning, J did the cooking and clean-up on the weekends, and I handled it during the week. I really wanted J to get comfortable in the kitchen, because my long-range plan was for him to take over more and more of the kitchen duties, as the demands on his time permitted. And that has worked out pretty good. From the beginning of the time we were living together, J had one other duty -- cleaning the bathrooms. I figured that a man who accepts responsibility for this chore, and takes enough pride in it to do it right, is a man who will probably not consider any household chore to be beneath him, or "woman's work," or whatever. Besides, I hated doing it myself. Anyway, after I had moved into J's apartment, I simply told him, "It's your bathroom, you clean it. And make sure you do it good!" And, a bit to my surprise, that's what he did. I was actually going to back down and offer to take turns. But, it was so easy. So, in our next apartment, I simply went on the assumption that he would go on doing the bathrooms and that assumption worked out just great.
To get back to the subject at hand, I told my husband that I was going to deny him anal sex. He was a back door man, and I said no more back door, man. What was his reaction? He pretty much went through all the stages of grief, right in front of me. Stunned silence for a while. Then, denial: "I thought you liked it." Well, I couldn't say anything to that; as I explained before, I actually did like it. So now, I said nothing in response to his protest; no use compounding one lie with more of them. Eventually, he reached the negotiation stage. "I could go slower, and use more lube, you know." Nope. "No, that won't do it," I said. Finally, anger at my unreasonableness and obstinacy. "Why are you doing this?" I was thinking, because I can, my usual fall-back response to "why" questions. But this time I held my tongue. After all, he was driving, and I didn't want to push my luck. J never got to the acceptance phase, at least not then. Not right away.
Really, what could he say? He said nothing, all the way home, which was fortunately not that much longer. I sat and looked out the window, wondering if I had done the right thing, or just messed up my life for good. "Oh what a tangled web we weave," went through my mind. I concentrated on the river that ran alongside the highway we were on. Sometimes it ran freely, then lots of times there were huge rocks with the river rushing around them. It seemed to be a metaphor of our marriage. Smooth sailing, followed by rough spots. Is that all this was? If so, I could handle it, right? Soon it would all sort itself out.
More gloomy silence as J drove on. We came upon signs indicating that we were coming to a bridge that would take us to the other side of the river. We hadn't come up to our son's college that way, but I knew the highway on the other side would also take us home. So I told J we should cross ver the bridge and take that route home. He obliged, and that made me feel better, for some reason. Maybe the two of us could get beyond this and cross over to something better. I hoped. We would see, that's for sure.
. It comes really easy to me I guess u can say . I love the fact that the I hand all my control over to someone else. I don't L ike being a in control at all but in real life I have to. I am in control of the house my life my kids and everything else. Most times I just want to hold my breath and act like a little girl. But I can't stomp my feet kick someone in the shin but I can't.. it a not fair. Or even tantrum on the floor can't do that either. Lord I need some way to get this out of me.... Before I explode. My submissive side is just right there and can't come out fully.... Makes me want to cry it really does....
We are going to play a game of Cards tonight. Or, rather I should say I will be playing a game of cards while Bond is securely bound over our new Whipping Bench! Will post 'rules' of game to be played at Bond's expense.
His now-unmarked Bottom & Thighs have been freshly shaven for the punishment game. His totally unprotected Cock & Balls nicely bound and ready to be whipped. I even have them thrust outwards with a pillow to raise them above his thighs to make it easier for me to punish them.
See today's posted photo of Bond laying in position waiting to be tied and whipped.